Are you a worrier?
When your mind is constantly preoccupied with apprehension, you feel uneasy and anxious most of the time. You might even sometimes feel like you’re losing control over your own life.
This is a feeling that I’m well too familiar with.
A while ago, I was going through a difficult time and felt stressed and overwhelmed. I’m talking about one of those days when you’re emotionally drained and you feel like you got run over by a train. I felt my anxiety levels go up, and then I realized something.
I realized that it’s been a while since I’ve felt this way. I’ve realized that only a few years ago, this was how I felt almost all the time, every hour of every day.
Always worried.
Always anxious, always grumpy. It was then that I became aware that despite there being no drastic changes in my life during the past couple of years, I am not the same person anymore.
My life is completely different, yet the only thing that has really changed was my attitude and the way I look and react to things that happen to me.
5 SIMPLE SHIFTS TO BRING MORE POSITIVITY TO YOUR LIFE
REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE A CHOICE
This might be difficult to realize at first; the thought that happiness can sometimes be a “choice.” I get it. BUT, there’s actually a scientific proof to that and your thinking patterns play a huge role in this. A lot of the circumstances surrounding your life might be beyond your control but you can control how you respond to them. You can either spend your life complaining and constantly nagging and bitching, or you can choose to feel grateful, inspired and passionate about your life. Keep in mind that having a positive outlook on life does not mean having a perfect life.
It doesn’t mean that you won’t struggle, it doesn’t mean that you won’t feel like giving up, it doesn’t mean that you won’t experience setbacks or that you won’t feel disappointed at times. I still experience all of those things; but those things used to crush me and kill my encouragement, I now treat them as lessons- and those are necessary for any kind of growth.
Here’s the thing.
You are just as deserving of a happy, amazing life as anyone else is.
Your life wasn’t meant to be a struggle, an uphill battle. If you don’t like something, change it. Don’t waste your energy on negative people. Eat a little healthier. Go for a long run. Try meditating. Do things that scare you a little. Do something for the first time. Learn a new skill.
Take a little responsibility instead of just letting things “happen” to you.
Change is good. Declutter your life, just as you would declutter your desk. Get rid of toxic people from your life. Whenever you’re around someone who only talks about negative things, gossips a lot, throws judgment around like it’s confetti, you can almost feel your energy levels drop. If you can’t help it and you have to be around negative people, try to either steer the conversation in a positive direction or remove yourself from that situation. I’ll be honest and say that just a few years ago, this was something that never really bothered me. Now, I can’t stand being around people who only focus on the negative things in life.
FIND PASSION
Find something that brings you joy. I just talked about how finding passion and starting a blog helped me deal with depression in this post. Think of something that makes you feel happy, something that will keep you busy and will set your soul on fire. Follow your bliss, every single day. No matter how small those things are that make you happy, do them.
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If you haven’t found it, keep searching. Keep looking, keep trying new and different things until you find that one thing you love to do.
SPREAD YOUR SPARKLE
I think that we all have that one person in our lives that makes us happy when we’re around them. The person that never nags, never gossips, the person that always makes you laugh, always makes you feel good about yourself and lifts you higher and raises your energy. If you don’t have a person like that in your life- be that person for others– for your friends, family. Making the people you love happy is one of the best feelings there are. Smile, compliment your friends, don’t judge their decisions and when needed, give a constructive, but loving feedback.
Resisting something negative will not make the “bad” feelings go away. To make a shift and live a more positive life, you have to bring more of that positivity into your life. Just like you can’t make a half-empty glass of water suddenly full unless you add more water to it, you can’t expect to live a happier life if all you do is resist negativity. Negative thoughts have their purpose, too, but instead of resisting them, you have to add more positivity and kindness to your daily life.
One of the best ways of doing that is by showing some love and kindness to someone else. Write a kind note to a friend, take out someone close to lunch or dinner in the middle of the week, send someone a letter or give them a small gift. Find a way to pay it forward, every single day.
LEARN TO LET GO
Let go of things you cannot control, of things (or anything else) that do not serve you. Forgive others, forgive yourself. Sometimes, bad and ugly things happen to us. Sometimes we get our hearts broken time and time again. Those things always teach us a lesson- take that lesson with you, but let go of the past. Worrying about things that have happened in the past, or things that might happen in the future is a waste of your energy. This isn’t easy to do, take it one day at a time.
SEE GOOD IN EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE
I think this one is especially important in relationships and during stressful times in your life. Don’t make assumptions about people, don’t judge and compare. Let go of the negativity, the drama. When you think about the people in your life, concentrate on their best qualities- especially when they happen to hurt your feelings, or make you feel upset. When you choose to see the good in everything and everyone, you will see just how much there is to be thankful for.
Of course, it’s impossible to monitor every single one of your thoughts; of course, it’s impossible to not let things “get to you” or annoy you, make you angry, once in a while. To bring more positivity to your life, you have to learn to be a little more mindful. Once you do begin to practice being mindful you will begin to notice your positive energy dip, whenever something negative- like judgment, gossip, or complaining happen around you.
47 Comments
Racquel Bianca John
January 16, 2018 at 8:28 amThis is such a great read! I was the same way when it came to worrying all the time. It took me to understand my purpose and to study my actions for me to no longer worry about things that were out of my control. Now, if I feel worrying trying to creep up, I know how to handle it. These are five essential tips to keep in mind, Thank you for sharing!
-Racquel
http://www.purposely-you.com
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 9:06 amThank you, Racquel! I agree that it’s so important to equip yourself with tools that will help you deal with stress and worry! x
Genesis Garcia
January 16, 2018 at 10:37 amI think at some point in our lives we all tend to be sort of a grinch, sometimes judgmental and very hard on ourselves. This is the perfect post to see that we all have a choice and it takes time but we can learn to be better.
Thank you for the inspirational post!
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 8:54 amThank you so much, so happy you enjoyed reading this post! x
ɐllǝq
January 16, 2018 at 11:06 amSuch a helpful post! xx
http://www.isabellazogheib.com
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 8:54 amThank you!
Ellie | PetiteElliee
January 16, 2018 at 11:37 amLOVE this post! I am all about bringing positivity
http://www.petiteelliee.com
Ellie xx
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 8:54 amYay, so happy you loved it, thanks!!
Abigail Alice
January 16, 2018 at 11:52 amI read something in Demi Lovato’s 365 book (I’m surprised I learned from it to be honest!) she said that if you try and imagine everyone you meet who could be angry or hurting as their childhood self it becomes really hard to harbour any anger towards them back. Surprisingly, it does work wonders if someone’s done me wrong and I imagine them younger and try to think about their thought processes that lead them to doing wrong.
Abigail Alice x
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 8:55 amI have that book too! :) I love that, and it makes complete sense. We never know what things and situations other people had to overcome. So glad that this outlook works for you- I think it’s something we should all try to do!
Julia Speaks
January 16, 2018 at 12:42 pmI’m such a worrier too, and it’s a habit that’s hard to break! Learning to let go is definitely a big one, I need to work on that. There’s indeed no point worrying about what has already happened, we should just think about how to get better!
Julia x
Last Post: On Resilience and What 2017 Taught Me | http://juliaspeaksbeauty.blogspot.co.uk/2018/01/lifestyle-on-resilience-what-i-learned.html
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 8:56 amIt is a habit that’s hard to break, but it’s definitely possible- it just takes time ;) Sometimes you just can’t help, but worry, even when you know it’s pointless. x
Kay Nguyen
January 16, 2018 at 12:58 pmThese are so such interesting and inspiring tips! Thanks for sharing <3
https://www.myblackcloset.com/
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 8:56 amAw you’re very welcome, thank you so much for stopping by!
M B.P
January 16, 2018 at 1:19 pmThese are such great tips! I went through I rough patch in September and honestly realising I had a choice and trying to see more positively really helped me. It takes time but reframing to thing this way does actually work. Thanks for the tips!
EscapesAndEpiphanies | Travel Fashion Lifestyle
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 9:07 amThis outlook will probably not work for everyone, but I am so happy that you were able to use reframing as a tool to help you get over your rough patch! I hope you’re doing amazing now and thank you so much for stopping by! xx
Natasha Grace
January 16, 2018 at 1:45 pmGood read and important tips to incorporate!
https://www.natashagracen.com/
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 8:56 amThank you, Natasha!
Christine C.
January 16, 2018 at 1:48 pmI love what you said about spreading your sparkle! That’s honestly what I try to do everyday for my friends and family!!!
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 8:57 amThat’s amazing, Christine, I think it’s something we should all try to do!
Kelly
January 16, 2018 at 3:18 pmThis is a very inspirational post! I definitely need to learn to get go, sometimes if something happens I can’t stop thinking about it and it definitely isn’t good to overthink it.
Perfect Shade of Mauve
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 8:59 amThank you so much, Kelly! Letting go definitely isn’t always easy but it can change your life.
Paula Loreti
January 16, 2018 at 6:22 pmThis was such a positive post!! I love it and mark it as favourite haha. Thanks for spread this, is really important :)
http://www.blossomikebana.com
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 8:59 amAww thank you so much, Paula!!
Юля Журавлева
January 17, 2018 at 4:03 amthank you for interesting post!)
https://twinklelittlstar.wordpress.com
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 8:59 amYou’re very welcome, thanks for reading!
Aleksandra // bunniesaremagic
January 17, 2018 at 4:16 amEven if it may sound fake or insincere, whenever I feel down I just force myself to smile. Working in hospitality while at uni really taught me how to do it :) But there is just something about smiling that makes it almost impossible to stay bitter while doing so. Sure, there are days when nothing can help, but during these slightly grumpy moments, smiling is enough!
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 9:00 amI sometimes do that, too! It actually does help and I end up laughing at myself after haha :)
Natalie Redman
January 17, 2018 at 5:05 amGreat post. Learning to let go is very important to me.
http://www.upyourvlog.com
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 9:00 amThank you, Natalie!
Naya // partyparrotblog.com
January 17, 2018 at 7:03 amSuch a wonderful, uplifting post Paula! Love that quote, I find that it’s all in our heads after all – change your way of thinking, change your life. There are days when it’s rather hard to do, but with a little more effort – positive change is inevitable. Thanks for sharing and being so awesome xx
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 9:03 amSo happy you enjoyed this post, Naya, thank you so much!!
Kiran
January 17, 2018 at 8:52 amLovely tips Paula, thank you for sharing xxx
ALittleKiran | Bloglovin
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 9:03 amThank you, Kiran!
Katherine Tran
January 17, 2018 at 12:42 pmYes to all of this! I’ve been working on letting go of things I can’t control, definitely one of the harder things for me!
http://www.myclusterofthoughts.com/
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 9:04 amIt can be so hard to learn to let go, I agree. But it can be one of the best things you can do for yourself!
Danielle Alexa
January 17, 2018 at 4:26 pmSuch a great post, I have really enjoyed reading it!
Danielle xx
http://www.fashionbeautyblog.co.uk/
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 9:04 amSo happy to hear that, Danielle, thank you!
Debbie Santiago-Keough
January 19, 2018 at 9:19 amI have found that giving myself permission to walk out on a negative person, conversation or situation is so freeing. No need to be rude about it just quietly exit. It means that I love myself more and refuse to hurt myself by putting others’ priorities and emergencies first. Balance is always needed. I want to be that person people love to be with and find refreshing. And I need to be in control of my life- this is a daily thing we must re-focus on. Thank you for your posts. I so look forward to them!
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 19, 2018 at 9:33 amI love that, Debbie! I was just talking to someone at work who was saying how uncomfortable it is to be around other coworkers who gossip and how she puts up with it because she doesn’t want to be rude. No, we should be able to tell ourselves that it is OKAY to walk away from those situations! We can’t allow those people to mess with our energy, and we don’t have to be rude or mean about it. Thank you so much for your comment, Debbie!!
Cedisha Pitts
January 20, 2018 at 11:13 pmThank you for what you do.
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 21, 2018 at 10:12 amThank you for being here! x
Nada Boštjančič
January 21, 2018 at 1:59 amthank you, I like it, think over and over about changes, even the things in my little apartmen, making something new from oldfashion clothes and so on…worries just disapeared.
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 21, 2018 at 10:13 amYou are very welcome, Nada! Sending love your way! x
Heidi B
January 22, 2018 at 10:01 amSuch an aspiring post Paula! I started this year with a more positive outlook and aim to to cut the ‘cr*p’ out of my life. i know I still will struggle sometimes because i am a real worrier, always have been, and my pain levels bite my bum which doesn’t help. I think our insecurities can become overwhelming in such a crazy, fast paced life. Lovely post and I think mindfulness is a good friend in moving forward too!
H x
Paula @ thirteenthoughts.com
January 26, 2018 at 12:50 pmThank you so much, Heidi! So glad that you’ve decided to cut the crap, haha! It definitely isn’t always easy and it takes time, but it is SO well worth the effort!
Natalie Redman
March 1, 2018 at 10:11 amLove spread your sparkle!
http://www.upyourvlog.com